Lt. Wilkes Asks:
How fast would a Cocoa Puff have to travel in order
to kill someone when it hits them?
Unfortunately it is impossible for a Cocoa Puff to travel at a lethal speed on Earth. This is because the fragile Puff material burns up due to air friction at the necessary speed for such a projectile used as a weapon.
Puff material is better suited for this type of use in a vacuum. It has less mass than traditional munitions which means more can be transported at a reduced fuel expenditure for transport. Also, the absence of air friction allows the Puff to make it from the launcher to the target unscathed.
At this point the issue is in getting the Cocoa Puff up to speed.
Traditional acceleration such as gunpowder or other explosives are unacceptable as they will simultaneously crush and burn up the projectile before it even reaches lethal speed. The acceleration must be gradual enough not to exceed 5.23G (the gravity that most Puffs start to erode and break up).
This would imply that a large device patterned after a slingshot or catapault woult be most effective. The object is to make a launcher that can provide steady, gentle acceleration up to the target velocity of 700KPH. For single shot Cocoa Puff launchers, it would be advisable to line the launch surface with a cotton ball to provide stability and cushion during acceleration. In the case of multiple Launchers, you would either want to devise a cannister lined with cotton or liquid ballast which would open during flight (the buckshot method) or a series of mechanically manipulated and loaded catapaults which provides a steady stream of Cocoa Puffs launched at the target (the tommygun method).
This leaves only one theoretical problem.
Seldom are people found walking around in the vacuum of space unprotected. Thus the 700KPH velocity required for a lethal puncture of the human body is insufficient. Although at this speed a Cocoa Puff might pock mark the side of a space vehicle and even damage or puncture a space pressure suit, it cannot be considered suitably lethal for general use as a weapon.
There is the hypothesis that a Cocoa Puff can be accelerated infinitely in a vacuum provided an adequate device or technique for constant gentle acceleration. Thus at some point Puff velocities could be increased to the point that they would pass through such Puff-Impenetrable objects as vehicles and armour.
At that point one must consider the purpose for using the Cocoa Puff for killing. This would most certainly be a premeditated act requiring much preparation, aim (navigation and cross-vector analysis), and distance from the target.
Complicating the use of this weapon is the requirement for constant gentle acceleration. At the speed required for lethal Puff contact with the target, the accelerator would take up hundreds if not thousands of miles. This machine would undoubtedly be very obvious to observers, possibly losing the element of surprise to the target, allowing the target to 'step aside' and avoid the Cocoa Puff. The conditions must also be perfect so that no debris or unintentional targets encroach on the projectile vector, eroding, deflecting or destroying the Puff en route to its desired target. Thus there are few tactical or strategic advantages to the Cocoa Puff accelerator.
Technological improvements in Cocoa Puff manufacture could increase its value as a weapon however. The Puff material could be strengthened by using materials such as teflon, lead and other metals or alloys in its structure, making it both heavier and more structurally adequate for sudden acceleration using current explosive technologies.
If it is necessary to retain edibility of the puff, nanotechnologies and genetic science could produce a 'sentient' Cocoa Puff, which although losing its vegeterian value, would open the door to allowing development of Puff technologies such as self acceleration. The Puffs would have to retain their 'desire' despite their sentience, to accelerate to incredible speeds and smash into targets however. This devotion has not yet been accomplished reliably in any Earthling species as of yet.
Most simply, although losing the original intent of using Cocoa Puffs as lethal projectiles would be to lace the Puffs with poisons and toxins then convincing the target to eat a bowl or two of the lethal Cocoa Puffs.
Give the lizard a cookie.
Regards,
StFo
